Jello isn't salad.

I've mentioned before that I identify myself as a "Midwest Mormon."

I've been living in Utah for just over a year now. Many cultural components are easy for me to adjust to simply because much of the culture here is based off of the religion that I have been a faithful part of my entire life.
Earlier this year, I married the best man I've ever met who was born and raised right in the heart of Happy Valley; which means there is a big chance that I will spend the rest of my days living here. This is definitely something I promised myself I would never do! I mean come on, there's not even an NFL team here! I guess that gives me all the more reason to raise my kids as Bears fans.
There are so many things I love about living here (which I will definitely address soon)!
But some things... some things... I'm 100% sure I will never get used to or identify with.


Jello.
People put this crap in everything. If you freeze it, you can make it a popsicle. If you layer it with whipped cream, it becomes a casserole. If it's in a bundt pan, it's a cake. If you put graham crackers on the bottom, it's a pie. If you put fruit and marshmallows in it, somehow it becomes a salad...?

Where I'm from, we make fun of jello dishes. Where I currently live, it's a main food group. Last week my sweet Mother-in-Law texted my husband and asked if we would bring a jello salad to the family party on Sunday. I instantly was overwhelmed with anxiety and informed my siblings of the current situation.

I just can't bring myself to embrace this part of Utah living. I made my husband make it.

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"Unique" Names.
First off, you should know that I have uncontrollable tunnel vision when I see a typo and I can't ignore it until it's fixed. Just imagine a mosquito bite on the inside edge of your ear. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. It's just like that. I can't ignore it. Before I even spot it, I feel physical vibes steaming off the paper just waiting for me to find and correct it.


Recently at work, I handed a blank contract form to a girl named London. She was interested in signing up for a membership.
I counted to 60 and then I peered down at said form to begin transferring her scribbled personal information into the computer system.

Name: Lundyn.

My eyes grew wide with disgust- I thought they might pop and ooze out red pen correction markings.
Inadvertently, I informed her of her misspelling of "London".

Apparently it's "just unique."

No.

Even more recently, I was trollying through the grocery store when I saw a driver's license shimmering below the wheel of my cart. I plucked it off the concrete floor and glanced at the picture to compare it to the faces of the people scurrying around me. Again, I felt the typo vibes steaming in my hot little hand.

This license was to be returned to a woman named Allysnn Hyllyry.

ALLYSNN HYLLYRY.

My IQ just dropped.

I shifted my eyes around frantically as I audibly inquired, "Is this a joke? Am I being punked?"

It took all of my willpower not to shred that physical piece of illiteracy into a million pieces before returning it to customer service.

A common name that's illiterately spelled does not make it unique.

Me going through the Utah County Whitepages:

Everyone should just name their children Chaney.

F is for Friends That Do Stuff Together

3. Have dinner from a food truck

When I wrote up my original bucketlist, I was planning on stopping at one of those trucks that happen to show up on street corners from time to time.

Last week, we went to the Provo Food Truck Roundup with our friends McClain and Katie. This is one of the best ideas that Provo has ever had. Every week, a parking lot strip in south Provo fills its vacancy with greasy, cholesterolly, sugary deliciousness from the best food truck vendors. The options ranged from burritos (classic) to waffles to pizza to barbecue to freshly blended smoothies all the way to gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. I don't know how I wasn't aware of this before! It was a really fun way to celebrate summer coming to a close. We browsed around for a bit and ultimately we all chose to indulge in Sweeto Burrito with a few drinks and sides from other trucks.

Coincidentally, Morgan and I were in the middle of a Harry Potter marathon that week; as were McClain and Katie! We were only scenes away from each other in Deathly Hallows Part 1 so we headed back to our place to finish up the series and eat our burritos with some chocolate chip cookies* for dessert.

All in all, it was an awesome way to check off another bucketlist item and way more fun than I thought it would be! Who knew Provo could be so awesome?




* I found the secrets to amazingly chewy and thick and delicious cookies! Melt the butter, replace 2 tablespoons of flour with 2 tablespoons of cornstarch, and 3:1 ratio of brown sugar to confectioners. Best chocolate chip cookies I've ever made. NOM NOM.